Three Mistakes SEND Families Make With Their Wills

Most parents make a Will because they want to protect the people they love.

For SEND parents, that can include questions about who will understand their child, speak up for them and support them when they are no longer there to organise everything.

As a SEND mum, I understand why making a Will can feel like an important job ticked off the list. But a Will can look complete while still leaving important questions unanswered.

These gaps are rarely caused by carelessness. They usually happen because parents have not been told what else they may need to consider.

Mistake 1: Leaving an Inheritance Directly Without Considering Its Impact

Leaving money directly to your child may seem simple and fair. It may be appropriate, but it could also create unintended difficulties.

An inheritance may affect some means-tested benefits, depending on the benefit, the amount received and the person's circumstances. Not every disability-related benefit is means-tested, so the effect must be checked rather than assumed.

There may also be practical questions.

• Would the person feel confident managing the money?
• Could they need support with financial decisions?
• Might the inheritance leave them exposed to pressure or exploitation?

A trust may be worth considering, but it is not automatically right for every disabled beneficiary.

The starting point should be the individual: their circumstances, wishes, capacity for the particular decisions involved, current support and what the inheritance is intended to achieve.

Before finalising the Will, ask: if this person inherits directly, what could the legal, benefit and practical consequences be for them?

Mistake 2: Choosing Trusted People Without Fully Understanding Their Roles

Parents often choose the person they love and trust most.

Trust matters, but the roles within a Will can require very different strengths.

An executor deals with the estate and the administration needed to carry out the Will.

A trustee manages assets held in a trust according to its terms.

A guardian may have a legal role relating to a child under 18, depending on parental responsibility and the family circumstances.

Different people may suit different roles.

Someone who understands your child beautifully may not feel comfortable managing money or paperwork. Another person may be organised and financially confident but need help understanding your child's communication, routines or relationships.

Think about willingness as well as ability.

• Have they been asked?
• Do they understand the role?
• Could they work with the other people named?
• Is there a suitable reserve if they cannot act?

A name in a document is not enough on its own. The person needs to understand the responsibility and be willing to accept it.

Mistake 3: Assuming the Will Is the Whole Future Plan

A Will is an important part of future planning, but it mainly deals with what should happen after death.

It cannot hold every piece of information someone may need to understand and support your family.

The wider plan may also need to consider lifetime decision-making, practical guidance, trust arrangements, nominations and jointly owned assets. Not every family will need the same combination.

For SEND parents, there is often valuable knowledge that sits outside the legal Will.

• How does your child communicate?
• What helps when they are overwhelmed?
• Which routines, relationships and interests matter to them?
• What would you want future supporters to understand about their wishes, independence and quality of life?

Appropriate written guidance can help pass on that knowledge, although it does not replace legal documents or the disabled person's own voice.

The plan also needs reviewing.

Children grow, adults' circumstances change and the people named in documents may no longer be willing or suitable. A Will made several years ago may not reflect the family as it is now.

A Calm Review Can Identify the Gaps

Finding a gap does not mean you have failed.

It means you have found something that can now be considered properly.

Start by checking three things:

1. How each beneficiary would inherit and what the consequences may be.
2. Whether the people named understand their roles and remain willing to act.
3. What other documents, information or arrangements may be needed around the Will.

For me, good planning starts with the People, develops into a clear Plan, puts appropriate Protection around the family and gradually creates greater Peace of Mind.

You do not need to solve everything in one sitting.

A specialist Will review can help you identify the questions that matter to your family, without judgement or pressure.

If you already have a Will, arrange a review to check whether it still provides the protection you intended.

For more warm, plain-English guidance about Wills, trusts and future planning for SEND families, follow SEND Futures Planning on Instagram.

This article provides general educational information for England and Wales. It is not personalised legal, tax or benefits advice. The effect of an inheritance, the suitability of a trust, the authority of appointed people and the documents needed will depend on individual circumstances and current rules.